Something to lose: Week 4

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I don’t know about you but every now and then I get a day where I feel particularly bad about myself. Too fat, too ugly, too unhealthy, too useless. That’s all that goes through my head. My self-esteem plummets even further from its usual sunken precipice into a chasm of self-loathing and despair. It’s a horrible thing to put myself through yet I still do. The truth is that I am my own worst enemy at times.

Losing 70lbs is not going to be short-term challenge. There is no quick and easy fix to get rid of the weight that I’ve gained over the past decade, and it’s going to take a great deal of determination and focus to do. I know it will be worth it, if only to reach a time where I don’t need to hide my bulging body beneath my uniform of black maternity trousers any more. I am desperate for a new wardrobe, one that I can choose rather than the one I have to settle for because everything else makes me look like I am lugging a sack of squirrels around. I am desperate to be proud of myself, to feel good, to feel healthy. I just want a new me.

I have continued to work out on the cross trainer several times a week. It was on Saturday that I decided on a 20 minute session and then realised that I had done a total distance of just over 3km during the time. I was ready to drop but spurred myself on with the challenge of seeing whether I could hit 5km. I was exhausted by the end of it with sweat pouring from my face but I did it! I didn’t think I would be able to but I did and the buzz was tremendous. And then I realised that I could do anything I set my mind to if I just persevered and didn’t give up. I now plan to continue my 5k sessions several times a week, and I really do want to get a pedometer or some kind of monitor to keep track of my daily activity, though I’m not sure what is best.

I finally decided to record my measurements. I think that if I can monitor my changing (hopefully shrinking) body every two weeks or so it will give me an added boost, even when the weight loss is lower than I had hoped. Anything which shows positive progress is worth keeping tabs on, so even though it would have been better to record my measurements from the start, I still have a way to go so I should be seeing some changes – hopefully soon.

This week’s weigh-in showed a 2lb weight loss for each of us. I am now 4lbs away from losing 10% of my original body weight and Mike is just 2lbs away from his first stone. Together we have lost 28lbs in just over a month.

Here is our progress so far:

Tania: 

Week 1: Lost 9lbs

Week 2: Lost 3lbs

Week 3: Stayed the same

Week 4: Lost 2lbs

Week 5: Lost 2lbs

Total lost to date: 16lbs (1st 2lbs)

Still to lose: 54lbs

Mike: 

Week 1: Lost 3lbs

Week 2: Lost 5lbs

Week 3: Stayed the same

Week 4: Lost 2lbs

Week 5: Lost 2lbs

Total lost to date: 12lbs

Combined loss to date: 28lbs

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