A Rise in Domestic Abuse Cases Being Dropped? Tell Me Something I Don’t Know. Mine Was One of Them

domestic abuse coercive control


I’m absolutely furious by this story that broke the BBC News headlines this morning about the Huge Rise in Domestic Abuse Cases Being Dropped in England and Wales.
A study of 30 of the 43 police forces in England and Wales has shown that there has been a whopping 159% increase in domestic abuse cases that have not been charged due to a ludicrous six month time limit for prosecution to take place.
Unfortunately, I was angry but not surprised.
I am one of the statistics they talk about.
 After three years of trying to break away but still being controlled by Mike, and with all authorities enabling his continued abuse, I hit rock bottom and sent out my plea for help in January.
Four months later I was finally contacted by the police and asked to go and record a witness statement, which I did. Mike was arrested and questioned, then released on bail until I escaped the family home, having to leave the children behind because, as Mike quite rightly pointed out to me during the time we were together, ‘where are you going to go with this many children?’
I was then contacted by the police who informed me they could not prosecute.
There wasn’t enough evidence of his behaviour and abuse in the previous six months.
Forget the huge stack of evidence of the previous 30 years.
Forget the fact that the control and domestic abuse was still ongoing, even though I tried to break out of the marriage in 2018.
Forget all the letters, the texts, the photos, the emails….
Excuse me for hitting the CAPS LOCK and leaving it on but good grief, you cannot make this absolute shit up.
This meant Mike was once again enabled and seemingly vindicated, claiming he was let go because he was innocent.
‘See children, I told you she was mad.’
An absolute joke of a legal system that fails to provide for those it is supposed to protect.


5 thoughts on “A Rise in Domestic Abuse Cases Being Dropped? Tell Me Something I Don’t Know. Mine Was One of Them

  1. You need to contact Women’s Aid who will offer the most practical help on a one to one basis. As a victim of DA you are eligible for legal aid which will help with your legal costs. As for the house, all property is owned equally in marriage, so you will be entitled to 50% of all property – more if you need to house children on a primary carer basis. You need to access as much support as possible. Go to you local Citizens Advice and explore your options with them. They can signpost you to a variety of different services and support you in accessing the help you need. There is a lot of help out there if you know how to access it. Citizens Advice should be your first port of call. You don’t need to do this alone.

    1. It’s not that easy, Alison, as I discovered over the last few years and as I will go into more detail with now that I’ve made everything public.

      I am entitled to a share of the property. He is fighting it, claiming 100% ownership. I have to pay to fight him and have been doing so for over three years. It’s not cheap or simple.

      Help is restricted due to various bureaucracy, time limits, this excuse, that excuse, blah blah blah. I had the naivety and belief there was support, especially since I was paying for it too. The system and the law doesn’t work as simply as we are led to believe.

      Again I’ll explain each part in more detail bit by bit.

      Things need to change.

  2. If u don’t take your children, it’s viewed as abandonment.

    TAKE THE CHILDREN. Get them away from all of this. There are MANY homeless shelters for women with children, no matter how many, and here , when you have children you get immediate priority for housing and JOB TRAINING over single women.

    I also would see them stay with stable relatives . I think you mentioned not being close to your family in previous video: Build up a support group. I know it’s very difficult.

    This is not the right email, so plse don’t email.

    1. No, there aren’t, unfortunately.

      And sadly, what seems so easy on the outside and the support we are led to believe there is, isn’t.

  3. Mine was “evidenced his character but not his intention”. Pretty sure the intention was very clear. “You were obviously unhappy” was a phrase I came to hate. Of course I was, he was abusive, it was kind of the point.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.