£132,000 to raise a child? I don’t think so!




HSBC are telling us that it now costs £132,000 to raise one child.

One child.

How on earth…?

I really dislike these articles and I wonder whether people read them and think that they must be correct.  True, children aren’t cheap but they need not be terribly expensive either.

Among the figures given is £20,273 cost of paying for your child’s wedding, paying for their university debts of an average of £9,541 and paying for their deposit on their first home of £27,032.

Now, call me a tight-wad but I’m not paying for any of those things.  I might stretch to a bit of bunting or a cake topper or something for a wedding.  I’m happy to get together an “Happy First Home Starter Kit” of pots and pans and a tin opener and I might bung them a twenty for a book or two but I’m not paying close to sixty grand on those three things.  Good grief, I’m not paying that much throughout their lifetimes.

To begin with, a wedding and uni fees and house deposits is down to them.  They want a big wedding with all the trimmings they’ll have to scrimp and save for it.  Likewise with the house.  University fees well, not every child goes to university.  My oldest two have opted instead for getting into the workforce.  And if they did then they’d have to pay for it after their studies.  I think it might make them more inclined to work hard when it’s their own money at stake, rather than Mummy and Daddy’s.

Another thing is that if they do not learn the value of work and the lesson of learning to save and to go without and to be skint and make a choice of a tin of beans or a loo roll at some point in their lives then I think that’s a valuable part of a life lesson ignored.

There is always a meal for them here.  And a roof if they need it.  But things like houses and cars and weddings are the things that grown-ups do and grown-ups should not be depending on their parents to provide once they have reached that stage of life.

So sorry HSBC.  £132,000 on raising one child?  Not in this house.

What do you think?  Does it really cost that much to bring up a child?  And should parents be the ones to pay for house deposits, university fees and weddings?



6 thoughts on “£132,000 to raise a child? I don’t think so!

  1. I’m with you on this one. Helping out now and again, maybe, and feeding them weekly, yes. But not what hsbc say, no siree.
    My daughter’s friend has always been given everything and now has no idea of budgeting, no idea of reality at all, spends money on such crubbish because she knows her parents will bail her out. It has done her no favours at all, and now at the age of 20 she is more like a 12 year old because she has never had to struggle.
    ‘helping’ kids to learn to struggle is teaching them a valuable life lesson, and one which I will continue to teach them all.

  2. I agree with you! My children will not be getting the whole hog from us ( No way we could afford all that for each child even if we wanted) We will help them out etc, so give them some money towards first car, pay something towards the wedding etc. But they wont be getting it all from us! I also think its good for children to learn about money from a early age and not have everything handed on a plate to them. We wont just give in and buy the kids what ever they want, when they want etc. But we will give them pocket money which they can save towards things they want – which often if they have to save for it or spend their own money, they no longer want it 🙂

  3. In the United States, the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 is calculated to be $226,920 USD, which is 143,285 pounds. And that’s only to 18 – no university or wedding included! But I am with you on this one. Everyone needs to struggle to truly learn learn the value of things. My husband and I also do not think that university is automatically included, unless the child has a career path in mind that requires higher education.

    I wonder if I would feel the same way if I only had one or two children, instead of six daughters (and their weddings) ahead of me.

  4. I’m with you on this one! There are no way in paying for my kids weddings, Uni fees and Definately NOT a house deposit! Geez, i paid for my own driving lessons, my own first car, my husband and I got a mortgage without handouts, and paid for our own wedding!! I’m happy to help but no way would I fund everything!

  5. Wow… nope!

    My wedding cost $3,000, I don’t know the conversion rate off hand but I know we were told we would have to spend a MINIMUM of $20,000, O_O. We were blessed by a sister in law who does cake decorating and donated the cake, we had family and friends make dishes to serve during the open afternoon tea reception and they all donated the cost of the ingredients, and the bridesmaids purchased their own outfits (I chose items that, put together, looked very formal, but could actually be worn after the wedding) but other than that we paid for everything ourselves.

    In contrast, we’re going to a mess of a wedding this weekend, between two kids who will be living with the husbands parents, and those parents are (unhappily) paying for everything. They’re not having anything fancy, but even so… :S As far as I can tell the parents didn’t know they’d be footing the bill until it was kind of too late to back out, the bride had a great full time job that she quit, to do door to door sales hoping she would strike it rich. The husband… don’t ask

    I would absolutely help out with my kids wedding, depending on where I was needed, but the brunt of the cost needs to fall on them, if they want a fairy tale $50,000 wedding they’ll be paying for it.

    In my experience kids who go to uni on their own dime appreciate it far more than those who have it paid for. If my kids wanted to go do a tafe (technical college) course I might pay for that as my parents did for me (which would range from $500-$2000),but if they’re going to full, 4-year uni, not a default in my mind, they’ll have to do with a student debt. Having said that, I would allow them to live at home for free, or with a minimal board payment, depending on the situation, so that would help them out.

    A home deposit? Where are these parents that pay their kids home deposits?!? Am I too old to be adopted!?! Seriously, who does that? The closest I’ve seen is a set of parents who used the equity on their home to secure the loan for their children (so technicly the loan was split between them) but only the children made the actual payments and they made the payments for the money under their parents name first to clear their name from the loan. That wasn’t so much paying a deposit as putting your name as a garuntee your child would pay the loan regularly, it was all on paper, no money actually left the parents pockets.

    I want a home, desperately, but we’re having to work for it like everyone else, and are stuck renting in the meantime. Now to be honest, if I find myself a millionare in 20 years I would totally pay my kids home deposit as a wedding gift! It’s a hard thing to save and the money wasted on rent in the meantime is sad, but short of becomming a millionare, no way I could even if I wanted to. I guess it’s different if you only have one baby, but I doubt my husband would say he’d rather have a home than his 7 siblings.

  6. While I agree with most of the points made, I have one teeny-tiny point on the alternative – if you could afford to help out, then why wouldn’t you? I don’t know if we’ll be able to afford to pay for our current two and any extras to go to university, to buy them a car or to pay their deposit, but provided they’ve been brought up responsibly, to know that in the real world you never get something for nothing and to live within their means, then why would I deny them a helping hand in life out of some kind of high-minded principle?

    The reason I say this is that I’ve been on the receiving end of this type of generosity. I’m no scrounger; I’ve worked full time since I was eighteen and although I’m planning on going back part-time after my current maternity leave, that’s mainly because it doesn’t stack up financially to be full time once we factor in childcare for two kids. I have a good job, so does my husband, and we don’t fritter our money on silly things.

    Despite all of that, house prices are so ridiculous in the South East that we could not have afforded our current house if his mother hadn’t given us money towards the deposit. Yes, we could have gone for something smaller, in a less convenient location. When we first moved in together we did – and I got postnatal depression from (amongst other things) being stuck on my own with the baby in a remote village where I knew hardly anyone, because at the time it was all we could afford. But my mother-in-law knew how much we wanted to get somewhere closer to friends and family and with better connections, so she offered us the money. And I’m very, very grateful that she did. We’re paying her back, though at such a low rate I’m not sure if we’ll ever pay off the full amount, and we still have to work hard and budget carefully to pay for the mortgage and other household expenditure. Should she not have done it and made us stay in a place we were both miserable, when she knew she could help us out?

    And with regards for university fees, as neither of my parents had gone themselves, they were so pleased that I was able to go that they paid my tuition fees, and the same for both of my younger sisters in their turn. As a parent, you surely want to give your child the best chances in life, and a good university degree can make a world of difference in what sort of jobs and careers you can go for. I ask again, if you have it in your gift to do that for your children, why wouldn’t you?

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