Not the best of times



Returning from holiday was a mixed bag of feelings.  On the one hand there is the whole thankful-to-be-home feeling.  On the other is the wishing-we-were-still-away-from-it-all feeling.

I am definitely still wishing we were away from it all.

On Friday we finally got home after a trip which took more than ten hours thanks to traffic and diversions.  Tired, hungry, worn-out but glad to be home.  I was looking forward to catching Jubilee events unfold on the TV, having planned to spend the weekend at home and catching up on lots and lots of work I had been unable to do whilst away.

Saturday was spent preparing for Oliver’s birthday on Sunday.  We didn’t have much planned but needed to get his gifts and cake so that was what we did.  The rest of the day was pretty uneventful.  We ate dinner, got the kids ready and tucked into bed and sat and talked whilst the kittens played.  Then we went to bed.

We woke up to find one of our kittens had died.  We don’t know how or what happened.  She just looked like she was sleeping.  So Oliver’s birthday morning was spent telling the children that kitty had gone to heaven far, far too early than she should have.  The children were devastated and our other cat was clearly confused and pining for her friend, not eating and running around the house meowing for her pal.

Monday wasn’t much better.  It was the day a person finally unleashed twenty odd years of hatred and bad feeling they’d been keeping in about me.  Not to me but about me.  Loudly and clearly enough for me to hear and also, more hurtfully even, loudly and clearly enough for my children to hear.  In a way it is a relief that the ongoing comments and “jokes” (term used loosely) at my expense have finally been proven as being made out of dislike rather than the (thinly veiled) humour they’ve been made as for so long, and it is also a relief that I will no longer have to endure them.

Whilst it wasn’t a shock that the truth has finally outed I am reeling from it badly – more than I expected I would.  And many things will now change and have already changed because of it.  And worse, the trigger for this tirade was on a subject I pointedly refused to participate in, leaving Mike to handle and make the decisions on himself, which goes to show what a ticking time-bomb this pent-up vitriol has been – needing one excuse – any excuse – to finally blow.

Yes, the Jubilee weekend is certain to be held in our memories for a long time.  Unfortunately for all the wrong reasons.


9 thoughts on “Not the best of times

  1. Sympathetic hugs Tania. The death of a pet is always terribly hard. And it sounds like the situation with the ‘friend’ is better out in the open, even though it is painfully like lancing a boil in the first instance. This too shall pass.

  2. OUCH – many hugs and much sympathy – what a rotten return home, and so sad for the kitty 🙁
    For the rest, rise above it and try to imagine “water off a duck’s back” and just let it all go.

  3. Im sorry to hear about one of your kittens Tania and the upset you’ve had with someone over the weekend, as the saying goes ” You can choose your friends, but not your family ” Hope all the kids are well, best wishes xxx

  4. So sorry about what’s happening with drama. I take it by the severity this is family, which makes it really hard. I wonder if, when things settle, you might be willing to talk about it a bit more. I’m assuming this has to do with large families and homeschooling, it always seems to with families who believe as we do. I know other families hard experiences with family members have helped me to be stronger, and not so lonely, when I face my own. We struggle, not because my non-christian, only slightly larger than average family don’t support us (they do! They’re amazingly accepting, at least right now when we’re still only waiting for number 2), it’s actually because my husbands ‘christian’, homeschooling large family don’t seem to support us!

    They aren’t ready to say it outright, but I strongly suspect they have changed their beliefs about families and raising children in the past 10 years since their last was born, I’ve recieved a few very subtle comments that indicated they thought we shouldn’t have too many, and we got a rather strange and unexpected comment when, upon being asked if we were ‘done’ with two we responded with our default ‘nah, we’ve got to beat mum and dad’s 8!’, and they always seem to have a problem with our decisions, and refuse to help at all with my very dificult pregnancies, and yet seem over the moon with the decisions of their other married, and childless by choice, child. (not that I disagree with her childlessness, that’s their choice, but they seem to be getting more approval for that decision than we are for our babies, despite his parents having 8 of their own.) I’ve never been able to forget that we never recieved their blessings to marry, and as the first child to have a serious partner and marry we struggled a lot with their expectations and beliefs that they no longer hold. We really paved the way for the rest lol, not fair but so so true in this case!

    One day it will all blow up, it has to. They’re the sort of people who bottle everything up, so when it came up a year ago they managed to brush it all off, but it’s there. I just hate that when it does blow up it’s my husband that will be so badly hurt, because he refuses to see what’s there right now, he dosen’t want to see it or face it, or at least won’t admit to it. He’s already hurting when he sees the practical support and unconditional love my family has extended, and how greatly it contrats his own… 🙁 Families suck.

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