Motherhood: It’s ok to admit it’s not always sunshine and flowers




This isn’t actually a picture of me personally but boy oh boy, does she look how I feel.

Everyone in the house has been dropping like flies with some snotty, coughy, stomach-buggy bug during the last week.  We’ve gone through more toilet rolls and tissues than your average Andrex puppy and his siblings participating in a bog-roll race and everyone is miserable and grumpy.

Including me.

Being a mum is tough work at the best of times.  It’s tougher when the kids are ill but how tough does it get when you are ill too?


I’ve been desperate for sleep, for some respite.  Yet still others need looking after, housework needs doing, meals need cooking and this site still needs to be kept ticking over.  Mike has been fantastic yet he needs to work too.  I have found myself meeting the end of my tether once again.  Repeatedly.  As a mum I am not meant to admit that.  As a mum of many I’m definitely supposed to because, according to many non-supporters (and my mum – so yes, the same thing), “Nobody told you to have so many children.”

Ah, pah!  Like the number of kids has anything to do with me needing to recover when I’m ill.

The thought of running away and booking into a local (or not local) Travelodge for a night or two has crossed my mind more than once.  If you wanted a figure I’d estimate it at 143 currently.  And that’s just this morning.

I’ve sat and explained i=prt to Cait.  We’ve worked on reading and the “sh” sound with Sid.  Eddie’s maths is taking a snail’s pace and Harry’s mind is everywhere but his workbooks.  Dinner is in the slow cooker. The bathrooms are cleaned and the twins are miserable, snotty, grumpy and wanting to be held all day long.

Paddy and Oliver and listening not to a single sodding thing I’m saying.  Joseph is opening the childproof gate as it is apparently only childproof until child reaches eighteen months old and Ben is still in bed, completely fed up with applying for jobs to no avail.

And my head hurts.  I can’t stop sneezing.  I want to curl up in bed and go to sleep.  And I can’t.

If I am supposed to follow the trend of Facebook and Twitter statuses where people insist how much they dote on and love their families I’m not doing it today.  I want to run for the hills is the truth of it.  Not because I don’t love my family or my children because I do but because sometimes, just sometimes, I feel a little overwhelmed.

And knackered. 

And just bloody miserable. 

Motherhood isn’t always sunshine and light.

Some days it’s just plain difficult.

And it’s not wrong to admit it even though we’re made to feel it is.

It’s ok to say we’re having a hard time.

It’s ok to say we’re not enjoying it very much.

It’s even ok to admit we aren’t doing a very good job (even though I’m sure we are, given we have to battle on in the face of adversity and bogeys and tummy bugs).

So on behalf of mothers everywhere having a bad day I say…

Sod it!  Let’s have a cup of tea and a biscuit, and hope tomorrow is a better day.





11 thoughts on “Motherhood: It’s ok to admit it’s not always sunshine and flowers

  1. Amen to that!

    If a mum of two kids is having a hard day with everyone sick they recieve support, encouragment, and sometimes even food!

    If a mum of 6 does exactly the same thing, they’re told it’s their fault for having too many.

    It makes NO sense whatsoever

  2. Hope you’re all feeling better soon. It’s one thing coping with a housefull of sick kids but a gazillion times worse when you’re ill too. Sounds like you need a hug and a good night’s sleep (I haven’t had one of those for 21 years!).

    Oh and I’m glad it’s not just my Mum who makes unsupportive comments!!

  3. Yep, I last thought about the Travelodge option last night – ended up in the 24hour Asda! The Travelodge would probably have been cheaper!

    Have you read Naomi Stadlen’s book “What Mothers do…” ? It makes me feel better when the biscuits run out. I met her recently; she has years of experience running a group called “Mothers talking” where amongst other things mothers support each other when they feel like you describe – sounds like a wonderful group doesn’t it?!


    1. I’ll have to take a look at that book. BTW, wasn’t I supposed to post one to you a looong time ago? Email me your address again. It’s on the shelf looking at me!

      PS. I believe Travelodge would have been far cheaper and more restful too.

  4. As others have said Amen, just because we love being moms it doesn’t stop us from being human. Tired, Ill frustrated. We need a little TLC ourselves. My mom says exactly the same to me but the words “you choose to foster”

    Big hugs to you sweetly and I hope you feel better soon.

  5. Oh dear . Poor you. It’s enough to tip you over the edge when they’re ill, let alone when you’re ill, numbers irrelevant! I wrote about the double side of motherhood and will tweet it to you – feel free to add to the linky because I think it’s healthy to express this sort of stuff! And while writing this my little one has drawn all over kitchen wall with pink felt pen…..cue my tears! 🙁 Wish you better asap XXX

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