Married to a Narcissist? Here’s How to Save Your Marriage

 

Research found that 6% of the American population has a narcissistic personality disorder, 7.7% of these are men while only 4.8% are women.

Narcissists are manipulative, can’t give compliments, and constantly practice double standards, which can leave their partner second-guessing everything. Being in a relationship with a narcissist can ruin your mental health and stop you from being happily in love. Perhaps you’re nodding along and you want to improve your relationship, but you don’t know how. 

Sounds like you? Don’t worry, you’ve come to the right place. The question isn’t necessarily how to save your relationship when you’re married to a narcissist. The real question is, should you?

Know the Signs 

Before understanding the effects of being married to a narcissist, it’s important to know the qualities associated with this disorder.

One of the main signs you’re married to a narcissist is if your husband projects his insecurities onto you. For instance, if your husband is cheating on you, then they will shame you whenever you interact with the opposite sex and accuse you of infidelity. 

When you’re eventually familiar with the signs, then you can decide your next step. 

Make a Decision

You’ve realized your husband is a narcissist, but you may wonder “can a narcissist change?” or “is it healthy to stay in this relationship?” 

The first step is you must accept that your husband won’t likely change, unless they pursue counseling, so you must find ways to accommodate this narcissistic tendency, such as blaming you whenever you’re in an argument. Take it from me, accommodating them will grind you down. 

Get out.

Help Your Husband Build His Self-Esteem

Once you’ve stopped asking “am I married to a narcissist?” and accepted it, then you can make changes to your marriage.

The advice may be that when you know the narcissistic traits, it’s easier to understand that your husband needs healing, so whenever he does well at work or shows you art he’s working on, compliment him. It is thought that not only does this help your husband, but it reminds you why you fell in love with him too. 

Poppycock.

You’re a sponge he will suck dry. No amount of compliments will be enough. He already ‘knows’ he is wonderful. He also ‘knows’ that you are nowhere near.

Get out.

Establish Clear Boundaries

Being married to a narcissist requires clear boundaries. For example, if your husband continuously calls you names, then tell him the conversation is over and walk away.

You should also stop making excuses for him, whether it’s missing his sister’s birthday because he can’t be bothered or saying hurtful things to his friend. This is because he should be accountable for his actions and understand that he’s hurting others.  

Build a Support System

When you stay married to a narcissist, a strong support system is crucial. Although your husband may not want you to have pals, know it’s a sign of emotional abuse. Instead, nurture your relationships with family and friends. 

Are You Married to a Narcissist?

Hopefully, you know the signs of being married to a narcissist. 

Familiarize yourself with the signs and decide whether staying is the best option.

Often, it isn’t.

You should also set clear boundaries and nurture your relationships with others. Good luck with everything! 

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