It’s official. I have had enough.
The last couple of weeks have been hard going. I don’t like hard going. I like an easy life. I like easy pregnancies, which thankfully I have pretty much always had. I know, I’ve been spoilt.
I don’t like being so big. I don’t like being so restricted and so cumbersome. This stage is nothing like a singleton pregnancy at all. While I feel incredibly blessed and lucky to be expecting twins I cannot help but feel completely and utterly fed up now.
The best part of the last two weeks have left me in some level of discomfort or pain in one way or another. I am not used to that. The headaches are still pretty much constant with little respite unless I take painkillers and I don’t want to be pumping myself with them all the time. They seem to go hand in hand with tiredness and I can’t quite work out if the headaches cause the tiredness or vice versa. I am still taking antibiotics for the urine infection and the Braxton Hicks go on regularly for hour after hour, day after day. As with all the other pregnancies they aren’t actually doing anything effective apart from annoying the daylights out of me and making me more tired.
I woke up this morning with the backache from hell and a pain across the top of my uterus. Actually, I can’t quite work out if it is a pain at the top of the uterus or a pain at the bottom of my ribs. All I know is that I am feeling unbearably sore and tender there and I have never in any pregnancy experienced anything like it. Throw in the regular BH contractions and I feel like finishing off a tub of ice cream all by myself.
All the way through this pregnancy I have been concerned about Twin 2’s movements to some degree. Twin 1 has always been the more active, but Twin 2 much less so. When I expressed concern to the midwife she said she thought it was down to how Twin 2 was lying and its position. After the scan it seems Twin 2 has now changed to a completely different position of head up yet the movements are still not any stronger. I’m wondering whether this is worth bringing up to the consultant at tomorrow’s appointment?
Oh, the scan! I don’t think I updated about that, did I? Well, like I just said, Twin 2 has flipped around so it is now head up and wedged right under my ribs and is estimated to weight 4lbs 4oz. Twin 1 is still lying head down and low and is estimated to weigh 4lbs 3oz. Neither baby is showing any cause for concern.
Tomorrow is the consultant’s appointment where we will be discussing the caesarean and scheduling a date for it. At this stage I’m taking things one day at a time. I’m trying not to let myself think that I could yet have another five weeks of this. Two or three I could handle, but five… I think I’ll cry!
Twin Pregnancy Diary is available to buy in paperback now.