We had a good weekend. Well, quite a good one. Saturday saw Mike spending much of the day in pain after hurting his back, as he did during most of the week in fact. Despite me telling him to stop by the chemist on Thursday for stronger painkillers and anti-inflammatories he decided against it and that he’d carry on regardless. Forget that he could barely move yet still went into work too.
By Saturday he was feeling quite a lot worse and finally decided to make that postponed trip to the chemist. By Saturday afternoon he’d decided (without too much prompting from me), to visit the out of hours doctor. The doctor told him to continue with the pills he’d bought earlier at the chemist and that if he’d gone sooner the pain would probably have eased off by now.
I didn’t say I told you so.
But I thought it.
Last Thursday, Mike’s cousin Karen came over with her daughter, Amy. Amy is six weeks older than Eddie and Caitlin has claimed her as the surrogate younger sister she doesn’t have. Such deprivation from an almost 11 year old who has five younger brothers instead. Karen took Caitlin to stay with them for a few days and on bringing her back on Sunday also collected Stephanie for a visit.
This was only the second time we’d seen Stephanie since she left under bad circumstances, following her older brother’s lead, last December. I could write a whole other post on accountability and being liable for one’s own actions, and I may one day, but I won’t do it today.
While communication has been completely non-existent with Ben for months and months, and I do not yet feel able to forgive a person who is still determined to self destruct and destroy everyone around him, I hope that the situation with Stephanie will be resolved much quicker. She, out of the two of them, seems to be facing and dealing with her consequences which is a great thing. I worry about her inability to choose friends selectively and she can be incredibly hardheaded combined with a naivety that any new person is a friend for life. I hope she’ll learn to stand back a little more before throwing herself into situations which aren’t good for her, with people that aren’t good for her. And to be a good person and come through these challenging years able to look back wiser, and with no regrets on her behaviour or treatment of others while keeping her own self respect. All things that Ben has lost already.
Nonetheless, we did have a good time. The boys particularly were thrilled to see her. Even Oliver, who I thought wouldn’t recognise her, didn’t take long to settle with her, as if his memories came flooding back. It was a nice day and the first small step of another long journey.
That evening Mike and I were chatting over the day’s events. Stephanie and Karen had both stated over and over how huge I looked this time. In fact that comment had been made earlier in the week by a couple of other friends.
“Do you think I look bigger?” I asked Mike.
“No bigger than usual.” he replied
“Do you mean, “No bigger than usual when I’m pregnant”?” I asked suspiciously.
“That is usual.” he answered.
Our oldest left under bad circumstances. She's trying very hard to still be a part of the family and hoping we will all forget what she's done, but she's still set on self-destruct, but like many teenagers, she can't see it for herself. Someday.