Just over a month ago, on July 1st, Mike, the children and I went along to Apeekaboo Imaging for a 4d scan.
At £150 it’s not cheap! Especially when everything is breaking down and going wrong and the finances are taking a battering. But still, given that we’d resisted so far it was something we wanted to do this time.
We thought we knew what to expect. We’d seen the pictures on the internet and leaflets.
“We’ll see our baby more clearly than we would on a regular scan.”
That’s about it, really.
Not just that.
It was so much more than that. The window into a whole other world was opened up in a way we’d never experienced before and we were all amazed and watching in awe at what would happen next. To say it was magical would sound so unreal, so extreme and dramatic even. But it was… magical!
I’ve experienced many pregnancies. This is my ninth successful (God willing, may it continue to be), plus eight losses. I know how lucky I am to be able to carry a child. It never ceases to amaze me how something so perfect can be created in secret within my body. But during pregnancy, though I attend the routine scans and midwifery appointments and listen in on the heartbeat and know that there’s a baby growing in there, it’s kind of forgotten in everyday life in many ways.
Of course, I don’t forget I’m pregnant now that I’m bigger but certainly during the middle part, the part whereby the sickness had worn off but before there was any visible baby belly, there was a stage of “Am I really pregnant? Is everything ok?”.
How can I explain what I want to say?
It’s like you know there’s a baby in there but to realise there’s actually a baby in there.
I never gave thought to what it was doing, apart from growing and kicking and occasionally getting some kind of body part digging awkwardly into my ribs. A real baby doing real baby things! The same things it’s going to do when it’s born.
To watch it all happening before your eyes is so surreal.