Adoptive Momma Writes…

I like to read about other peoples lives.  What can I say?  I’m nosey!  So I’ve decided that on occasion I’m going to be hosting some posts from other bloggers.

Today Adoptive Momma will be taking over.  Thank you for sharing your story, Anna.

I am 33 year old stay at home mother who has been married to my high school sweetheart for the past decade.  Our family was formed a little differently than some.  Our family was formed through adoption.  We have two sons adopted at birth.  

In 2005, after struggling with infertility for a few years and enduring several miscarriages, we pursued adoption.  When we began our adoption journey we began by contacting an attorney friend of ours who advised we undergo a home study.  During our initial meeting the social worker suggested an agency she felt would be a good fit for us.  We soon began our relationship with Adoption Affiliates in San Antonio, Texas.

Five months after completing our adoption application we met many of our oldest son’s biological family members at the hospital the day following his birth.  We met his biological family members before we ever laid eyes on him. 

We spent two days in the hospital nursery with him.  We rocked him, fed him and became his parents.  Two day after his birth we had our commitment ceremony with many of his biological family members present. 

In 2007, we decided to pursue our second adoption using the same agency.  Our second son was born ten months later.  We met his birth mother, biological aunt, uncle, and cousins before his birth.  We also spent time with them throughout the labor and delivery at the hospital. 

His birth mother requested I be present in the delivery room during his birth.  I was reluctant, but soon realized my selfishness and was right there with her as our son was born.  She wanted me to experience childbirth and knew it would most likely be my only opportunity to do so.

We never want our boys to be surprised they are adopted.  We discuss adoption openly in our home.  It is our goal for our boys to just always know.  It is our opinion if adoption is treated as commonplace by us, it will become commonplace for our boys and prevent them from ever feeling different.  We hope this tactic will make them comfortable approaching us when they have questions about their birth story.

We do sometimes receive oddball questions and comments about adoption.  We have been asked if it was easy to bond, love, and/or accept our boys as our own.  They are our children we felt love for them before we even knew we had been chosen as their parents.  We bonded immediately with them and loved them at first sight.  We generally answer any questions asked of us politely and succinctly.  We also attempt to educate when we can and advocate adoption.

The most difficult time during adoption is the waiting periods.  It is a difficult time period when you do not know if you have been chosen by a birth parent, if your profile has been reviewed, if your child has been conceived, not knowing when your child will be born, having an empty nursery in your home while you wait.  There is a lot of waiting in adoption.  Waiting is definitely the hardest part.

We send letters, photographs, and mementos to the agency several times a year.  We are not aware if their birth family chooses to receive those items or not.  Our adoptions are semi-open and we have no obligation to continue to send items to their biological family but we chose to.  When the boys are adults it will be their decision whether they meet their biological family or not.  We will support any decision they make.

We would certainly like to adopt again, although it is unlikely due to the high cost of adoption.  Financially, it is not foreseeable in our near future.  We are thankful we were able to adopt twice and feel blessed to have our sons.

Thank you for reading our story.  If you would like to know more about me and to read more of my insight on adoption visit me at Adoptive Momma of Two (, follow me on twitter @adoptivemomma, or find me on Facebook my fan page is Adoptive Momma of Two.

3 thoughts on “Adoptive Momma Writes…

  1. What a great post. I come from a family with an adoptive background.
    I am so glad there are those out there willing to take in another child, not theirs by birth, and to care for them and love them as their own.

    Thanks for your comment on my blog.

  2. Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment. I enjoyed your blog and also Adoptive Momma Of Two. You have a beautiful family.

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