10 reasons why nothing is scarier than children

When looking forward to the arrival of the already adored first-born many parents don’t realise that their precious off-spring already possesses the power to strike fear and terror into them and they’re already planning their attack.

I would find it irresponsible, nay – positively unthinkable – for me not to take steps to prepare others for what is to come in the not too distant future.

You may ask – how can someone so small be so powerful or fearfully terrifying?

I’ll tell you.

These are some of the moments your heart will stop and your stomach will churn.

Trust me.

1. When your children are playing nicely in another room. It’s peaceful, it’s mellow and then you realise… it’s just too quiet.
2. When your children are playing nicely in another room. And then you there is an explosive crash, a ceiling shaking thud and a blood curdling scream.  Bet you didn’t know you could run that fast, did you?
3. When you realise your child overheard what you thought was your private conversation with your husband where you were discussing the person you knew with the nervous twitch and halitosis. Unfortunately you don’t realise until your child meets this person in the supermarket and points out ‘that mad person who stinks!’ – loudly.
4. When your sweet five year old’s voice shouts out, ‘Daaaaaad!’ with some urgency.  Then follows up quickly with a distinctly quieter ‘Oh, never mind… ‘
5. Potty training.  Never a good part of parenting.
6. You realise your child has taken the last loo roll from the bathroom to turn their sibling into a mummy… just when you reach out to use it.
7. They run in shouting, ‘It’s okay! I cleaned it up!’
8. They run in shouting, ‘It’s okay! It’s not broken!’
9. They run right past you shouting ‘It wasn’t me!’
10. They hug you and say sweetly, ‘I am good, aren’t I?’ – this one always gets my ‘What have you done?’ instinct kicking in.

There are many more of these moments.

Many more.

But re-living ten of them was tough enough.

Would any other parents like to add their warnings to the comments?