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Toddler meltdowns – A guest post by Joanne Mallon

January 10, 2012 By 3 Comments

 

 

 

Joanne Mallon is a freelance journalist, a life coach and the author of  Toddlers: An Instruction Manual: A Guide to Surviving the Years One to Four (Written by Parents, for Parents).
Today, Joanne shares her thoughts on toddler behaviour and, more specifically, the melt-downs that we have all experienced them having at one time or another:

When I was writing my book about toddlers, I wanted to focus on what’s great about being under five, as well as the challenges that this stage can bring. There’s so much that’s wonderful about toddlers – they’re much more than simply “terrible twos”. So I invited parents to write about “Why I love my toddler”, and these sections are at the end of each chapter to leave the reader on a positive note.

However, there’s no denying that a toddler in full meltdown mode can be tough to deal with – so what’s the best approach?

 

When to discipline?

 

You might think your child is a holy terror, but how naughty are they really? Often toddlers behave in a way that adults find unacceptable, but to the toddler makes perfect sense as part of their urge to express themselves and discover the world. So what if I smear this paint on the wall? It feels nice to do it….I’m tired, I’m crying, I didn’t want to come to this wedding anyway…I hate that food, I think I’m gonna FREAK OUT etc

 

So if your toddler’s behaviour is off whack, think about to what extent you contributed to that situation, and how you could have avoided it. Were they tired and due a nap? Are they picking up on stress at home? Was their blood sugar low and what they really needed was a snack? Was the situation basically pretty dull for a three year old?

 

Often, you can draw a direct line from so-called “naughty” behaviour to its causes. If you address the causes then you will address the behaviour. And if you strip back these identifiable causes, the times when your child is simply badly behaved for the heck of it are probably much fewer than you realise.

 

By thinking ahead to the situations you go into, you can often divert challenging behaviour before it starts. Expect the best from your toddler, but at the same time manage your expectations and don’t blame your child if it all goes fruit loops at an inconvenient moment.

 

Joanne Mallon blogs over at http://joannemallon.typepad.com.

You can buy her book  Toddlers: An Instruction Manual: A Guide to Surviving the Years One to Four (Written by Parents, for Parents) at Amazon – available in paperback and also on Kindle.  

Come back tomorrow for a chance to win your own signed copy!

Filed Under: General Parenting, My Chatter

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    February 24, 2012 at 8:03 pm

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  3. Gender pay gap gains are at risk of erosion | Women's Views on News says:
    February 27, 2012 at 11:01 am

    [...] this context, Joanne Mallon, author of Toddlers: An Instruction Manual: A Guide to Surviving the Years One to Four, is now calling for childcare to be viewed as a joint enterprise rather than the sole [...]

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